As much as a landscape and garden evolves over time, the same could be said for a gardener. Those of us who garden probably don’t give much time to that thought, as the process can take years and really never ends. No one becomes a gardener overnight. Just like a landscape does not come in to its own for years. I was in my twenties when I first started gardening seriously, so my process was governed by an intense curiosity tempered by ignorance. Trial by error – and more error than not. And then there was the issue of restricted funds. A sympathetic Mom bought loads of plants for me. She was never critical of my failures. Like most Mom’s, she was generous with her knowledge and support. She only wanted me to keep gardening. I had so much more energy than experience. So I threw myself at all of it like I had 10 minutes to live.
I would move plants around 3 or 4 times until I was sure they were in the right place. And maybe again for good measure. Even then, I fretted. I watered, all the while worrying that I hadn’t watered correctly. I would quit with the water for a while and then start up again. I poured over catalogues of companies that sold seeds and starts – and then agonized over which and what to buy. I bought too much. I visited every nursery I could within hundreds of miles. I could barely keep my eyes on the road for looking at the trees. I pulled the weeds and turned the soil. There were soil tests, amendments and additives to be considered. There was mulching and feeding. I edged, dead headed, divided, pruned and paced from one end of the landscape to the other. Had my plants been able to talk they surely would have protested. I never let or left them alone. I told myself that all that tinkering was a way of learning. Luckily, plants are very tolerant of glad handling, and can survive all but the most egregious missteps. I killed plenty of plants, and continue to do so to this day. But I garden differently now.
These photographs depict my driveway, and the landscape that has grown up around it. 25 years ago, the drive was surrounded by grass. I like grass, but I better liked looking at plants going and coming home from work. A driveway garden is an important garden, as the gardener is there almost every day. And sometimes multiple times a day. So I planted and maintained every bit of it for years. The pruning and was important, as the drive had to accommodate a vehicle coming in and going out. It would not do to have a magnolia branch scraping across the windshield. The drive surface has to be shoveled and the sticks picked up.
This small drive court was too prominent a spot to not plant up, so I did. As much as I dared. I did on occasion get called out for letting things get out of bounds. Heaven forbid any dirt or dead leaves would stick to his car. He was not a gardener. I kept the landscape on the perimeters. This was Buck’s driveway and parking place, and I respected that. He passed on five years ago, so there was no longer any need to prune, trim, rake, shovel, dead head and spit polish. So I have let it be. I let it all be what it wants to be now. I have not and do not intervene or maintain unless there is a dead branch or leaves to sweep up. I don’t inspect it anymore. I glance at it. Or make a trip down the driveway which is now a walking path. I don’t shovel the snow here.
See what I mean?
The fountain landscape and garden had been planted every bit as densely as the driveway, but the time came when it had to be redone. The new group of trees – a vase shaped cultivar of tulip tree called “Emerald City” – was planted as a grove, and not in a row on the property perimeter. The sunny spots left over were carpeted in grass. The shady spots were planted with a grassy and vigorously growing perennial liriope spicata. A collection of black Belgian stoneware stools are sprinkled throughout the space. The cedar fence was stained black, and the tree trunks were whitewashed with watered down latex house paint.
The liriope protects the tree bark from the mower. That protection does not require any maintenance. Should the liriope spread into the surrounding grass, the mower will slow it down. Grass invaded by liriope is fine by me. I am willing to let it happen, and give the natural course of events a chance. I have not decided yet what will happen as the trees grow and cast more shade. More liriope? Take note that this plant will spread with abandon, so if you have to have your hands on your garden, this plant is not for you.
The grass and liriope mix around the tree trunks-and the stools. Though there is not much too this, I find it supplies what I need from my garden now. It could be it is my most favorite garden ever. I am always glad to get home from work and go here. I pick a spot to sit.
This raised bed dating back decades is all liriope now. The stone captures it, and keeps it from spreading. I would not at all be surprised one day to see it growing through the stone. That will be fine too.
It was not easy to get my crew to do a casually messy job of mowing the grass. They wanted it mowed shorter. And edged. I said no. I don’t garden like that anymore.
I can’t decide which I enjoy more, the pictures or the text. Both are so beautiful. This is the first I’ve heard of painting tree trunks! Care to elaborate?
Hi Carolyn, if you research whitewashed tree trunks you will find lots of information about the history of the practice. The whitewash prevents fungus and discourages insects and scald. Among other things. I love the look of it-thus my painting my own tree trunks. best, Deborah
I had the pleasure of visiting your garden on the tour a couple of years ago. It was a very peaceful place and I can understand why you love to find a spot to sit in it. Will those tulip trees stay small and compact? Does that liriope bloom purple?(I have that under my sweet bay magnolia) I think I would love to add those trees to my own back yard. Lovely place you’ve created. Thanks for sharing your posts are very uplifting for me.
Thank you for writing Shelly. The tulip trees are vertical growers, but they are not miniatures. I will have to see what they do.
❤️
Your posts are always beneficial and lovely!
Thank you, Kathleen, for reading. Deborah
From one old gardener to another, this may be the most beautiful reflection about the evolution of gardening and life that I’ve ever read. Thank you for this Dear Deborah.
Thank you for writing Alane. my best, Deborah
This made my day!! Just gorgeous in all aspects and attitudes (i.e. your lawn cutting preferences). Thank you for sharing the images and thought process behind the scenes. Truly a labor of love.
I do so much enjoy your writing and garden thoughts and also the photos. That first photo makes me want to see more….it is tempting me to enter and see what is not seen. I have seen tree trunks painted before but did not know what was used.
This to me is a very relaxing garden…one to unwind in and enjoy. Love the lushness and green….
Would love to hear more of your thoughts. Have you published a book?
No book yet, Lenore. But the blog has going on 1800 essays. best, Deborah
fabulous, isn’t it wonderful to age with abandon. time to sit and enjoy all that nature provides us with. well done deborah on creating what you want and the willingness to let it be!!!
Dear Christine, Age with abandon-love that. What is aging with abandon is my understanding of what it means to garden. thank you! Deborah
So beautiful to let it be! I am sorry to hear about Buck – I did not realize.
Dear CC, I did not say anything about Buck at the time. Thank you for your concern. my best, Deborah
Dear CC, this is my first time mentioning Buck’s passing. You did not miss it. Thanks for your sympathy. best, Deborah
I loved seeing these photos. I was also in your garden a couple years ago on the Garden Tour and saw the liriope, the choices on mowing and trimming, the tulip trees, lighting and wonderful density of some of the spaces. Because of you, my gardens are better and when see the liriope I used to edge a big bed of hydrangeas, I think of Deborah Silver.
Deborah, Always enjoy your posts immensely. Your gardening history sounds akin to mine. It’s been a wonderful journey. I like the visual effect of the white washed trunks of the Tulip trees. As another person inquired, can you share the reasoning behind this? I eagerly await your next blog.
Thanks for sharing, Carol Govier
Dear Carol, there is much written about the history of whitewash or limewash on tree trunks-a quick search on line will reveal lots of articles. It helps to prevent sunscald, discourages bugs and disease-it even makes insects more visible to birds. It is a world wide phenomenon. I whitewashed mine strictly for aesthetic reasons. I like the look. Meaning I like the intersection of agriculture and ornamental horticulture. my best, Deborah
Dear Carol, if you search “whitewashed tree trunks” on your computer, there are loads of articles that address and explain the rationale for this. I love the look, and finally got up the nerve to do it. I used Benjamin Moore latex flat house paint, diluted 10 parts water to 1 part paint-as I wanted the bark showing through. I used a creamy white-not a stark white. I kept applying thin coats until I got the look I liked. That was 3 years ago. Part of the fun of the spring is deciding if I will redo the paint on the trunks-or stand pat. my best, Deborah
A story of evolution that i have come to appreciate and adopt as I mature as a human and a gardener- thank you for sharing.
Dear Dan, Maturation is a perfect word to describe the process of evolution-as a gardener and as a person. I am not always mature, but I can certainly aspire to it. Nothing could possibly be more mature than nature-and the planet where she was created. Thanks for your letter. my best, Deborah
I am waving the white flag this year. The deer, rabbits and voles have worn me down. Your garden is beautiful and serene. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and expertise with us.
The pleasure of seeing this garden in person is something I will never forget. Thank you for sharing the wisdom and beauty.
Angie, I am in the same boat. While my heart yearns for a beautiful garden, and I’m willing to put the time and money into it, I have lost the battle with the deer. So discouraging.
what a lively story Deborah, I wanted it to carry on and in, as it mirrors my story, almost identically. now i find myself at 69, wondering what the future holds.
startled to read if Buck’s passing, wondering why I did not know if that, my deepest condolences.
thank you for always sharing
Debra
Dear Debra, I have not spoken of Buck’s passing until now. Thank you for your sympathy. my best, Deborah
I loved seeing your photo’s and reading your words. I love all of it!
Thank you Frieda. best regards, Deborah
I love how you share your thoughts in wonderful story snapshots. You make it easy for us to reflect upon our own gardening lives. I got to thinking about my mom and our postage stamp size garden and then like you I created spaces at my own home and slowly over time whether nature took over or my energy waned I began to love a bit less finicking and adopt a more natural flow. Thank you Deborah for ALWAYS sharing.
Dear Paula, I did not mean to give the impression that I had less energy to garden as I am aging (although that is true!) The reason I am letting more be is the sure knowledge that Madam Nature knows what she is doing, and her processes and outcomes are not just enlightening, they are beautiful. However I will take credit for what I planted and nurtured all these years. But your reference to flow is perfect and succinct. Thank you. And thanks for your letter. my best, Deborah
We’re right on the edge of a zone that grows liriope well. The cold edge. I’m also interested in natives so I’m going to try packera instead. There are 2 varieties: packera obovata and p. aurea. One does better in shade and I can never remember which. I know it grows well as I see it popping up all around my nursery. In spring there’s a bright yellow flower then in summer to fall a bronzey semi evergreen leaf. You can find a beautiful picture of a mass planting on the Missouri Botanical Garden website. I’m hoping it will do as well as your liriope and I was encouraged when you said you didn’t mind the grass competition..
Dear Claire, I am fine with watching plants compete and coexist without getting involved in the day to day of it. I have never heard of packera-I will look it up. best and thanks, Deborah
This came at just the right time-thank you!
Thank you for reading, Kathy. best, Deborah
Thank you for sharing your gardening philosophy at this time in your life and your beautiful gardens. I love the white wash idea, but need to pass on the Lirope. I had it, liked it, but couldn’t cope with the spreading. When I decided to remove it, I thought it was going to do me in. As I age, I have to adjust my gardening expectations so I appreciate this post.
Dear Judy, I am not adjusting my expectations as I age. I think I have a more sophisticated and profound understanding of the garden and what I want from it now than I did when I was 30. I am a grown up gardener now!! my best, Deborah
Please consider writing a book. Your knowledge and creativity is amazing!!! Please share it with us👏
Reading your posts and seeing the pictures posted has fed my soul for years. Flying to Detroit from Atlanta for the garden tour is on my ever-growing bucket list. I’ve never met you or Buck, but reading he is gone makes my heart sad as I consider the 2 of you “my internet friends”. Thanks for letting us know even a fantastic gardener like yourself, gives their own garden permission to relax; be a little messier; and require less work.
Dear Denise, Thank you for your letter. I hope to meet you some day. Thank you for speaking to the loss of Buck. I appreciate that. my best, Deborah
Deborah, you had me at the first sentence and I couldn’t save it for later. I must read it now. Thank you for sharing your lovely garden. I recognize some of the photos from other posts I have always wondered who lived in such a beautiful space. It is you who created it through much toil and years and it has become such a glorious reflection of your trials, wins, and celebrations in a quiet elegant way. You have me dreaming of what I could do if only the deer would stop enjoying my “bed and breakfast” so much! They were especially voracious this winter and have me thinking about what’s next? Yes, a gardener, like the garden, is always evolving. I hope to continue as long as my body allows.
I’m getting back into reading your posts after getting disconnected for awhile. Didn’t you have some lovely maples where the tulip tree grove is planted now?
Dear Nella, yes I did. But the day came when I had to replace them. Glad you are reading again. best, Deborah
Beautiful post Deborah. I have been a serious gardener for 50 years and have landscaped 3 home gardens in 3 time zones. I fully embrace the ‘let it be’ concept and not everyone approves of it but that is fine! Your design work and knowledge of materials is awesome! Happy Spring.
Deborah, you have been so generous through the years with your blog, sharing your elegant style. This post really hits home. I have been a very active gardener for 30 years and am in the long process of transitioning to a landscape that is less controlled with more sweeping mass plantings. Your garden is very restful, and calming. Again, thank you for sharing, your detailed blog on how you approach gardening is very inspiring and informative.
The perfect post to light our fires for spring planting! Your writing is so addictive and I didn’t want the post to end…write a book!
Thank you!
Beautiful photos of your landscape. The accompanying text is appreciated. It gives the how and why for us amateur gardeners.
Thanks for sharing. You have added peace and contentment to my windy cold day here in PA
Dear Deborah,
Another beautiful and heartfelt post.
I’m so sorry to read of your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences and best wishes for your comfort and peace.
Your image of the driving court is quite poignant – a manicured space transformed over the years to a calmed, quiet area.
The native peoples in our desert area would call it ‘sacred space,’ undisturbed. And that photo captures the reverence for the area perfectly.
Thank you for always being so generous with your words and work.
Warm regards,
Terry
I am grateful for your letter Terry. Thank you. my best, Deborah
Always pleasant to hear from you Deborah. Thank you for your ruminations on gardening.
Hi Christine. I am at that age where ruminating goes on. Ha! best and thanks for writing, Deborah
It was good to see an email from you….haven’t seen one in awhile! I agree a garden is ongoing. That is if you love a pretty garden like me. I love all the greenery in your garden. Greenery is the backbone of a garden. A messy green looks better than a hodgepod of flowers for me. Add statues and urns and it’s a classic. Sorry to hear about Buck. You sit and enjoy the beauty of your work.
Dear Nancy, it is good to hear from you. I know you to be a great gardener. After a long hiatus, I have resumed writing. This is my fifth since the first of the year. my best, Deborah
Heading out to the nursery this morning for my first day back at work with my crew arriving any minute. Of all the emails in my overloaded inbox yours was the only one I chose to open and it turned out to be the one I needed the most. Your writings and photos are beautiful, calming and inspiring.They help me to clarify what it is I’m looking to achieve going forward in my gardening life. “Casually messy mowing”, LOL love it!! Thank you so much for sharing. Cheers
Dear Deborah,
Thank you for sharing your green visions with us all these years. Your vistas are always inspiring and encouraging to strive for
The estate gardens benefit year round from diligent attention to crisp lines and small details. Awesome as ever. Gerald
Deborah, this post resonated so deeply. Your reflections on the evolution of both the garden and the gardener are beautifully articulated. I especially appreciated the shift from ‘tinkering’ to ‘letting it be.’ It’s a lesson I’m trying to embrace in my own garden (and life!). Thank you for sharing your wisdom and stunning photos.
Dear Deborah,
First, I am so sad to read of Buck’s passing. Somehow I missed reading about it, or maybe I forgot because I didn’t want it to be true. I am so very sorry for your loss.
It has been maybe 10 years since I spent time in your beautiful gardens on one of your DGW Garden Cruises. I loved every minute of that experience, especially meeting you and Buck and spending time at your magical home. It’s wonderful to see how your driveway area, water feature and back garden have evolved and read your thoughts about it all. How wonderful that the driveway is now a path! I love hearing from you and cherish your posts. Best wishes to you. I hope you are well and happy.
Jennifer (formerly from Seattle, now Spokane)
Thank you for your letter Jennifer. I had not written of Buck’s passing before this post. I am well and happy. my best to you, Deborah